I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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