Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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