i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize