Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
