I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
