No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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