I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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