I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
