imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
