Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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