im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
