i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
