i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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