Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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