So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
