FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
