So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
