Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
