You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
