Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize