Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up under a house in Key West
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