so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
