i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
