Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
