Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
