we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
