I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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