Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
