Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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