No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
