These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
