from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
