i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
