This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
