I am puke
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
