i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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