wakey wakey hands off snakey
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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