Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
