exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
