I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
