I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
