i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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