I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
