It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
