I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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