If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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