: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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