I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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