i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
