i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
