At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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