Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
