I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
