It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
