One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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