mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
