Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
