Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize