Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
