I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
