I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
