am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
