i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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