He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize