I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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